Lyrics
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Charlie Chaplin
Happy Birthday, Babe!
I couldn’t find a card that said what I wanted
So I wrote a tune don’t mind if I flaunt it
Happy Birthday hey we’re gonna celebrate
Happy Birthday Babe that’s what this song’s for
Happy Birthday Babe wishing you many more
Happy Birthday hey we’re gonna celebrate - ow
Happy Birthday Babe we’re gonna celebra-ia-ia-iate
And congrats on making it here
Much love and success throughout the year
May you be healthy and wiser ‘cuz I’m
Gonna help you celebrate and have a good ti-i-i-i-i-ime
I say I say I said Happy Birthday hey
Happy Birthday hey
Happy Birthday hey-ey-ey-ey
May the thrill of the surprise never wear out
C’mon everybody won’t you sing and shout
Happy Birthday Babe we’re gonna celebrate – mmm
Happy Birthday Babe we’re gonna celebrate – mm yeah
Happy Birthday hey we’re gonna celebrate – mmm
Happy Birthday Babe
Ce-ce-ce-celebrate
The name is Charlie Chaplin
Legend of the silver screen
His movies kept ‘em laughin’
The best you’ve ever seen
Got his start on London stages
Moved to New York for vaudeville
Invited to Hollywood to
Make films with comedic skill
Bowler cane and a little mustache
A character called The Little Tramp
From slapstick to social satire
Heart and soul with a lot of camp
Writer actor song composer
Director producer and
Groundbreaking film comedian
Chaplin
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Single)
Heroes in a half-shell
Heroes in a half-shell
Heroes in a half-shell
They're the world's most fearsome fighting team
They're heroes in a half-shell and they're green
When the evil Shredder attacks
These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half-shell
Heroes in a half-shell
Heroes in a half-shell
Heroes in a half-shell
Splinter taught ‘em to be ninja teens
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines
Raphael is cool but crude
And Michelangelo is a party dude
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power
Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power
Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power
Heroes in a half-shell
Quick Ear Warmer
1. Dead Weight
Dead Weight
Oh you made me feel so bad
Took all the loving that I had
Made me feel like I was
A little baby no I’m not
Another palooka
Got a heart like a bazooka
But you’re dead weight
I’m growing tired
Of the pain that’s transpired
But then look down to find
That my heart was on rewind
What’s the use of lugging dead weight
Antithesis of love and hate
Won’t jump off the Empire State
To get rid of this dead weight
To get rid of this dead weight
You’re loose fitting as a cuff
And though I think I’ve had enough
You’ve only got half of
What cement’s made of
(The heavy part)
Prayed and parted the sea
Looked both ways so I could flee
But it feels like forty years
Since we shared each other’s cares
But then look up to find
It’s done wonders for my mind
What’s the use of lugging dead weight
Antithesis of love and hate
Won’t jump off the Empire State
To get rid of this dead weight
To get rid of this dead weight
There’s no conspiracy
Lifted dead weight now I’m free
There’s no conspiracy
There was a shackle down my spine
A wine grape withered on the vine
“I’m feelin’ fine” tattooed
Across my stupid grin
Then a changing of perspective
Better yet it’s an elective
When it feels like forty years
Since we shared each other’s cares
What’s the use of lugging dead weight
Antithesis of love and hate
Won’t jump off the Empire State
To get rid of this dead weight
To get rid of this dead weight
To get rid of this dead weight
Dead dead dead dead dead dead
Dead dead dead dead dead
Dead weight
​
2. The Keeper Of The Mood
There are still people there that linger on
After the mood’s gone
Then the sun burnt the moon that she set upon
It left the stars stunned
There’s a bonfire blazin’ by a firebrand
The love I fell into turned into quicksand
I could sink love but no I must remain
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The deadly dynamics of a dynamic duo
Made my blood flow
But the heady sarcastics and those silent walls
Put love in escrow
There the mood altered chemicals that changes brains
The way they malfunction for a love that sustains
I could go get higher but I’d rather remain
​
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
I know all my faults to a fault
They’re my fault and now I must fix it
So I see why we stalled and it hurt
That I couldn’t even have predicted
I am addicted to more than just you
​
There are baby steps striding in a grown man’s shoes
Kicking up the jazz where it once was blue
I could walk away from the past but footprints have been cast
Step to
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
I’m in the mood for loving you
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
Those old days we just outgrew
I’m ready for what’s new
But still the Keeper of the
Mood
​
​
3. Hey, Inconsiderate!
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You’re wasting my time
All you’re ever after is what’s mine
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You take and you take
I’m searching for your soul as they’re dragging the lake
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I spit on your grave
You haven’t got a life for the way that you behave
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You’ve made a ghost of respect
You haven’t made the most of giving me what to expect
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I want you to know how it feels to be put upon
I know that you know I’m not done
I want you to know how it feels to be ridiculed
I know that you know I’m not fooled
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I’m telling you again
Manipulation only works on those who call you friend
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Karma’s bit you on the ass
It’s not too late for schooling
But for now you’ve got no class
C’mon
Inconsiderate
In consideration of a lack of wit
Inconsiderate
In consideration you don’t care one bit
Inconsiderate
In consideration that you’re full of shit
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
4. Quick Ear Warmer
Take now into account
A Fountain of Youth-n-gin
Your feelings here are paramount
So baby just drink it in
It’s intoxicatin’
Setting today upon renew
All of our dreams are coming true
Rejuvenation overdue
Now all the love is shining through
So take now into account
A Fountain of Youth-n-gin
The feeling here is tantamount
To the countless eternal grins
I’ve been smilin’
Setting today upon renew
All of our dreams are coming true
Rejuvenation overdue
Now all the love is shining through
In the time it takes your mind to wander
There’s a place that combines love with conjure
It’s our place of souls glued two
One from me and one from you
Take now
Setting today upon renew
All of our dreams are coming true
Rejuvenation overdue
Now all the love is shining through
Now all the love is shining through
Hey, Inconsiderate!
The Keeper of The Mood
There are still people there that linger on
After the mood’s gone
Then the sun burnt the moon that she set upon
It left the stars stunned
There’s a bonfire blazin’ by a firebrand
The love I fell into turned into quicksand
I could sink love but no I must remain
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The deadly dynamics of a dynamic duo
Made my blood flow
But the heady sarcastics and those silent walls
Put love in escrow
There the mood altered chemicals that changes brains
The way they malfunction for a love that sustains
I could go get higher but I’d rather remain
CHORUS
I know all my faults to a fault
They’re my fault and now I must fix it
So I see why we stalled and it hurt
That I couldn’t even have predicted
I am addicted to more than just you
There are baby steps striding in a grown man’s shoes
Kicking up the jazz where it once was blue
I could walk away from the past but footprints have been cast
Step to The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
The Keeper of the Mood
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
I’m in the mood for loving you
The Keeper of the Mood (Mood)
Those old days we just outgrew
I’m ready for what’s new
But still the Keeper of the Mood
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You’re wasting my time
All you’re ever after is what’s mine
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You take and you take
I’m searching for your soul as they’re dragging the lake
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I spit on your grave
You haven’t got a life for the way that you behave
Hey, Inconsiderate!
You’ve made a ghost of respect
You haven’t made the most of giving me what to expect
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I want you to know how it feels to be put upon
I know that you know I’m not done
I want you to know how it feels to be ridiculed
I know that you know I’m not fooled
Hey, Inconsiderate!
I’m telling you again
Manipulation only works on those who call you friend
Hey, Inconsiderate!
Karma’s bit you on the ass
It’s not too late for schooling
But for now you’ve got no class
C’mon
Inconsiderate
In consideration of a lack of wit
Inconsiderate
In consideration you don’t care one bit
Inconsiderate
In consideration that you’re full of shit
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
Inconsiderate
Open Hearted Broken Record
1. Favorite Everything
I can guess what
You’re thinking
With success but then
You’re my favorite everything
I bring a smile to your lips as they part to say
Your heart is a rocket ship; your head’s in outer space
Tell me have I
Come on too strong?
I don’t know my
Own strength but it won’t take long
Though time has become meaningless
I’m a man-made sundial
Somewhere between never mixed
With a great long while
Keeps me daydreaming
About what I can bring
To my favorite everything
All or nothing
That’s my way
You-n-me well
That’s where I wanna stay
I’ve had a lot of favorites
But you’re still the one
Who keeps me daydreaming
About what I can bring
To my favorite everything
How many times have I tried to make it here
An intuition on a mission always brings me near
You’re my favorite everything
You’re the Queen of
Understatement but to be King
I think I’d better take a walk
And calmly contemplate
Because when I begin to talk
I might just overstate
What keeps me daydreaming
About what I can bring
To my favorite everything
Keeps me daydreaming
About my favorite everything
You keep me daydreaming
2. I Want God
​
I Want God, I Want God
Seems such a long way away from here
I was robbed at the bottom of my heart
Waitin’ for Beckett to reappear
Dropped my guard and asked for God
Means all it needs to mean to me
May sound odd, though I say God’s
Made in the image we choose to see
Livin’ every minute of the day my way
Sittin’ down a humble man to pray
I Want God, I Want God
Baby, I Want God
I’m so flawed; let go, let God
The freedom is overwhelming me
I sit on my soul
Ponder and listen
The sky sings in tongues
‘Bout the bit that’s missin’
Livin’ every minute of the day my way
Raisin’ up my faithful voice to say
I Want God, I Want God
Baby, I Want God
I Want God, I Want God
Baby, I Want God
I Want God, I Want God
Baby, I Want God…
​
3. Up & At 'Em
Up & at ‘em, up & at ‘em
Good morning mister-n-good day madam
It’s time to set out on our way
Up & at ‘em; Earth to Saturn
There’s so much to do
And lots to fathom
I’m lookin’ forward to today
And then I stop and look around
There’s so much lost left to be found
So I hop from bed to ground
See the sight, smell the air
Hear the sound…yeah…
Up & at ‘em; I am glad I’m
Alive and well enough to reach new stratum
I’m looking forward come what may
​
4. Day By Day
​
Sittin’ on a star
Not far from gone
How much longer can this go on?
I say to myself take it day by day
Came on too strong; nothing took form
Like a house of cards in a wind storm
I say to myself take it day by day
Day by day; I go crazy looking forward
Day by day; I get carried away
But today is where I can stay
I could take it day by day
Really hurts my feelings when you don’t respond
Maybe your silence says more than I want
Say you’re insecure; that’s your excuse
Wear it like a badge; fits more like a noose
So say to yourself take it day by day
Day by day; you go crazy looking for it
Day by day; you go running from it
But today is where you can stay
You could take it day by day
Sometimes the heart does all the talking
Shut up
Listen for a while
But when the brain does all that squawking
Traveling the longest mile
If it was true; if that was real
It’ll never matter ‘til we heal
And say to ourselves take it day by day
Day by day; land those rockets of desire
‘Cuz today is where I must stay
I could take it
If I take it
Day by day
​
5. I'll Do Anything
I’ll go any distance; I’ll go to extremes
Up against resistance; down to meet my dreams
I am ready; I’ll do anything
Prayer for persistence; sonnet for success
Commit to my decision to always do my best
Now I’m ready; I’ll do anything
That it takes to make it right; I’ll work my ass off day and night
Just for the vision to see it through to outta sight
Blackmore got his Power; Petty Won’t Back Down
Brion keep on Walking Through Walls all over town
Now I’m ready; I’ll do anything and you can’t make me stop
I’ll do anything; Mann, won’t you Put Me On Top
Made my declaration; sharpened up my skills
Pushed my lonely boulder up tall and winding hills
Now I’m ready; I’ll do anything
That I need to break through; there’s not a thing that I won’t do
To feed the hunger; dream-flavored wonder coming true
6. Valentinian Anti-Matter
​
Valentinian Anti-Matter
Rarity in romantic form
If you’re happier and not sadder
You’re a contra to the norm
Valentinian Anti-Matter
It’s combustible energy
Starts with an electric charge
Ends with you-n-me
I’ve got a heart; beats like Spin Art
I’m a particle or two short
But I’m a love militarian
That can’t be store bought
Valentinian Anti-Matter
Valentinian Anti-Matter
My inner simplicity
Got a spirit that can’t be shattered
Yearning to be free
Valentinian Anti-Matter
Beautiful equationry
Divided mad-as-a-hatter
Add it up and you will see
Nature will state its laws
And may give you what for
Each of us with our flaws
Leave ‘em at the door
Valentinian Anti-Matter
​
7. Fast Friends
When I look at you I feel it right away
Livin’ in today is all I wanna do
Forevermore on my plate
Feasting at a Banquet for The Never-Too-Late
I think of you
You know I do
Keep you nestled warmly in my heart and head
Fast friends
Click and there they stay
Fast friends
May not be here but they never go away
​
You know you came along and woke me up
From a slumber
Of the underwhelming point of view
And if it’s true you don’t miss
What you’ve never had then I am doomed with you
(doomed with you)
Fast friends
Home movies of the mind
Fast friends
To stop and think of all the times
We laughed so hard the spirit climbs
Though it was fast and friendly
It went way too quickly
Fast Friends
8. Philippa For Miles
​
She’s all smiles
Philippa For Miles
Keeps her words filed
Witty Banter’s child
Creative Contra
Like a Valentinian mantra
Travel a while but
Philippa For Miles
She strolls through Rock Creek Park
That’s where she can unwind
And if I could catch up with her
I’d find Philippa For Miles
Taken aback
Timeless in fact
I am all smiles
Philippa For Miles
9. Wonka's Corridore (Instrumental)
10. Me-n-Kizzi O.C.
Me-n-Kizzi O.C.
Won’t wait patiently
For what the future’ll be
Warding off all the things
We think we don’t need
Her curiosity awakens me
Can’t get back to sleep
Diving into the heart
Of a wasted dream
​
She tells to me to be wise
I listen to her eyes
And hard as she tries
I know she wants me
To be careful
But with the lows come highs
Watch Kizzi get up
Watch Kizzi fall
I will follow suit
I can catch her
But she won’t be caught soon
Yeah I can catch her
But she won’t be caught
She breaks me from my shell
I wanderlust and dwell
I think she can tell
(when I tell her now)
That I just want her
To be happy
Now we’re wishin’
Down a well…
Me-n-Kizzi O.C.
Won’t wait patiently
For what the future’ll be
Warding off all the things
We think we don’t need
11. The Ink
The ink’s still wet on the page
I’m becomin’ engaged
As I notice little details that no one sees
And turn ‘em all around 360 degrees
Is anybody ever immune
To catchy air-borne tunes
So infectious I’d love the bug
If you’re contagious you’d be worth the hug
Until I feel bad about it and wish it would go away
Until I feel great about it and wish it were here to stay
It comes and goes in waves; some have said it saves
According to the ink on the page
History’s all ready arrived
Remnants fight to survive
The recent past is no less the same
An everlasting massive telephone game
The ink’s still wet on my skin
Bubblin’ up from within
Dipped in the inkwell of empathy
I’ve got a quill that’s beckoning me
In calligraphy
(Though we disappear the ink dries indelibly)
12. A Place In My Heart For You
​
There’s a place in my heart for you
A place in my heart for you
We used to laugh
Never thought the days would pass
It really was a gas for years
We’ve moved on; not all of it is gone
And you can rest upon
This simple little fact forevermore
I knew a girl; a very special girl
Who used to mean the world to me
But while I’m in another place and time
Still I am reminded
Freedom is what you make of it now
A place in my heart for you
You can’t make me give up
I’m inviting you in
And I’m never gonna stop
You don’t have to come out
No one’s gonna take your spot
‘Cuz only you have what you’ve got
We’ll always share a history we bear
So I’ll always be there in our memories
As long as I can dream
​
13. Love With You
​
Separated and we’re back on the climb
I’ll remember we were one of a kind ever after
If it’s fated well you know that I’m
Fit to make my own amends with time
From the laughter to disaster
Still in love with you
But don’t come any closer
Don’t get any nearer
I’m the one that’s gonna split this ride
It’s a rollercoaster
Can’t get any clearer
No one’s at the switch
So baby something special’s died
Still I know that you will always be
The apple of the eye of all Eternity
So take one last look and see me
Still in love with you
Love with you…
​
​
14. Outta My Own Way
​
Open Hearted Broken Record…
I’m outta my own way
That’s how I’m made—hey!
I don’t have that much to say
‘Cuz all words fade—hey!
I don’t know whether
It’s worse or if it’s better but now
I put one foot past the other
And whatever else that time will allow
I’m outta my own way
I’m on display—hey!
I’m still buildin’ underground
My own subway—hey!
I don’t know whether
The spirit or the letter wins out
But one without the other
Is like utter cool discovering doubt
​
And in a word
Life is absurd
Never had occurred to me
I’d be reassured
I am set free
I am in check
I’m in the moment and
I’m outta my own way
I’m outta my own way
Of my own clay—hey!
My DNA’s at play
Without delay—hey!
And in the end you always have to pay
There’s a little freedom livin’ in today
I can’t complain when I look around
‘Cuz I’ve found that I’m outta my own way
Songs From johnpaulgeorgeringo
1. Mars
Mars is a far off star from here but I can get there
Mars is a far off star from here but I can go
Mars is a far off star
Mars is a far off star
Mars is a far off star from here but I can get there
Anywhere I can see all possibilities
Mars is a far off star from here but we can get there
Mars is a far off star from here but we can go
(We can go)
Mars is a far off star baby
Doesn’t matter who you are, baby
Mars is a far off star from here but we can get there
Anything can be if we give it energy
Meteoric roadblock
Moon showers of space rock
Adjust your gravity
And fly along with me
Into outer space
Mars is a far off star from here but we can get there
(Come on with me)
Mars is a far off star from here but we can go
(We can go)
Mars is a far off star
Doesn’t matter who you are
Mars is a far off star from here but we can get there
​
​
2. Love-n-Light
Love-n-Light
That’s what I need tonight
Love-n-Light
That’s what I’m prayin’ for tonight
Love-n-Light
That’s what I want tonight
Love-n-Light
That’s what I’m stayin’ in tonight
When sensitivity overwhelms me
When I think I can’t see
I blindly step into the love-n-light
Love-n-Light
That’s what I want tonight
Love-n-Light
That’s what I’m askin’ for tonight
When I feel so defensive
When I feel uptight
When I feel apprehensive
I move forward towards love-n-light
When I’m feelin’ low
And I feel as though I’m trapped in an undertow
If I let it go; allow myself to grow
All I want to know is love-n-light
Love-n-Light
That’s what I need tonight
Love-n-Light
That’s what I’m prayin’ for tonight
​
​
3. While We’re Waiting
​
While we’re waiting
I push my boulder up a hill
And I’m debating whether I’d get further off
By standing still
So while you’re waiting
For acknowledgement from anyone
Some need it more than you
And didn’t get enough when they were young
While we’re waiting
I take my time; I take yours too
For all the words I speak
I never feel as though I’m getting through
While we’re waiting
For a lesson about less is more
I am guessin’ it’s calamity and danger you adore
And what for
One window closing can still open doors
I’m gonna sit right down and share myself with you
I’m gonna show you who I am, I am, I really am
I’m gonna listen ‘til my face is blue
I’m gonna give you all I can
While we’re waiting
Tell you what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna wait right here and stand in line
With you-n-you-n-you
While we’re waiting
I glance around; there’s lots to see
I take it all in as I wonder what’s in front of me
As future turns to history
And figure out how much more I can be
4. Love Lamp
If I took my love lamp and shined it
Deep in the recesses of your heart
However else would you find it
I’m only doing my part
If I took my love lamp and filled it
With all the colors of kerosene
Don’t be the one not to spill it
Bathe in it, baby, if you know what I mean
And though I’d really rather hide away
I run and run until I stay, but
I’ve got to shine a light on how I feel
And discover what the love lamp might reveal
Shine…
If I took my love lamp and flew it
Across the sky by remote control
The Wind said to himself, ”I blew it.”
So let it guster on from pole to pole
And though I’d really rather run away
I run and run until I stay, but
I’ve got to shine a light on how I feel
And discover what the love lamp might reveal
Shine…
So what you create
Tends to radiate
Illuminating what you’ve never felt before
Inner-lantern enlightening
Let love resonate
5. One Community
Why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
Put down your dukes and pick up the pieces of your life
Put down the nukes and the gun, rope, tongue, missile, bullet, knife
Why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
Tell me the truth; there’s harm in beatings ‘round the bush
Don’t turn me to sleuth, ‘cuz I detect bullshit when shove comes to push
So why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
‘Cuz anyone is someone when there’s someone there to need you
When you’re the one who freed you all the while
Why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
Why can’t we be one community
Why can’t we be one community
Why can’t we be one community
One community
6. Evening
Evening I need ya
And I’m not leavin’ ‘til I get to see ya
Even if my daydream has to die
And that is why
You’ll always be my lullabye
And that is why
You’ll always be my other half of the sky
Evening so be ya
The sunlight can’t reveal the way I’m feelin’
So lonely; I only sit and wonder
Whether and why
You’ll always be my lullabye
Whether and why
You’ll always be my other half of the sky
Evening I need ya
And I’m not leavin’ ‘til I get to see ya
Even if my daydream has to die
And that is why
You’ll always be my lullabye
And that is why
You’ll always be my other half of the sky
7. Take My Hand
On my own
All alone
On a throne for the lonely and sad
In the Kingdom of Unhappy
Where I shouldn’t stay
‘Cause I wouldn’t want anyway away from you
And I wouldn’t want to go it alone again
Glad to say that now I don’t have to
You-n-me
Aren’t we
Each love bound by an intimacy
In memories we lived through together
But I wouldn’t let forever
Go by without you
No I’ll never let never
Ever say never ever ever again
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
C’mon…listen up…only say this once…
“There’s no fun in life without you, babe”
C’mon…take my hand…
8. To Say Goodbye
I want to try to find a way to say goodbye
That doesn’t hurt me when I try
I want to try to find a place in my heart
That keeps me whole when we part
I’m gonna sit still and look you in the eye
When I try to say goodbye
In the end I know that you are my friend
And that is ever why
I’m gonna keep it simple
I’m gonna be real honest
So smile show me that dimple
I’m gonna do my best to say goodbye
Goodbye
Songs For Today's Attention Span
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1. Songs For Today’s Attention Span
Songs for today’s attention span
I’ll keep it short, sweet and true to keep you here
It’s all I can do before you disappear
2. Art Official
Gazed at a painting on his phone
Then rang up Vincent Van Gogh
Technology allowed him to do so
Who needs Reality TV
He feeds your hunger for modality
And does so Art Officially
No one saw him coming
Do you get the gist, man he doesn’t exist
No one heard him strumming
Now the role of the Art Official is to play therapist
Optical illusion
Leads to aural confusion
He loves to catch you snoozin’
No one saw him coming
Do you get his aim and do you feel the same
No one heard him strumming
Now the role of the Art Official is to reveal the game
He’s not real
He’s ten wishes come true
He can heal the disbelief in you
No one saw him coming
Do you get the gist, man he puts you at risk
No one heard him humming
Now the role of the Art Official is to give you a twist
Art Official, Art Official Art Official…
​
3. Weathered
No longer together
Predictable as weather
Her conversation dripped precipitation
Though I feel fine
In the dwell of her internal sunshine
I’m weathered
Sent under the weather
The sun and moon went nether
It’s nary a question I barely had protection
From my decline
To the Hell of her infernal sunshine
I’m weathered
We far surpassed the forecast
Though storms and warm weather can never last
You know they come back in other forms
I see the clouds are lifting as the sky is shifting
And the earth turns another cheek to say
You can weather the gift of a brand new day
Wake up trust the challenge
To Nature’s challenge
The world keeps turning around my yearning
For feelin’ fine
(Though not so well)
I’ll heal in time
(Aw, what the hell)
Or break the spell of her enchanted sunshine
4. Len’s Good That Way
Len’s good that way
Len’s good that way
Len’s goo-oo-oo-oo-ood that way
There’s a place in my soul that I never go
Without a little bit of pest control
‘Cuz the sort of stuff I’m not apt to know
Is the knowledge I now need to make me whole…though
Len’s good that way
Len’s good that way
Len’s goo-oo-oo-oo-ood that way
I’m a man in the middle of an afterthought
But not the kind that makes you think a lot
A pretty package can’t be store-bought
Just to go from a have nothing to a pure have not…but
Len’s good that way
Len’s good that way
Len’s goo-oo-oo-oo-ood that way
And for a man who has it all at his fingertip
Why can’t I learn from his example how to get a grip
There’s a microphone in my hands
But no one sitting in the stands
The crowd you swore you heard was canned
Just to keep the flames of my emotions fanned
Len’s good that way
Len’s good that way
Len’s goo-oo-oo-oo-ood that way
​
5. Diving Board
I go dancing off the diving board
Leave me to sink or swim
I’m so singular rising out of a hoard
Believe me I’m me not him
Even though with you I can’t win
Skip the spin I live on a diving board
And I’m dancing off the edge again
Dove into your pool of question marks
Mixed with exclamation
As a rule I’d drown for shooting sparks
Alone in a lane of my own destruction
I must admit it’s fun at first
Until the bubble bursts into an inflammation
And I dance off the edge again
Sometimes I leap before I look to see what’s there
Reminds me of what’s in store if not for the power of prayer
‘Cuz you never think that you’re the one bad things will happen to, you fool
Whether or not you’re the one who’s invited it to your pool
Dancing off my diving board
Faith in leaps of faith restored
I go dancing off the diving board
Leave me to sink or swim
I put faith in the Universe, not a Lord
Living life on a whim
Humming an original hymn
To give me strength out on my own limb
6. Valentine
The signs are clear
My Valentine is here
It would appear
I’m grinning ear to ear
That’s because I’m in love with my Valentine
Candy hearts and exotic flowers
And the showers of little things that life brings
When you’re mine
I know that you
Are who I value
And it’s true
My passion’s never through
That’s because I’m in love with my Valentine
Candy hearts and exotic flowers
And the showers of little things that life brings
When you’re mine
I boldly propose to have and to hold
The truth be told
I want to grow old with you
The signs are clear
My Valentine is here
It would appear
I’m grinning ear to ear
That’s because I’m in love with my Valentine
Candy hearts and exotic flowers
And the showers of little things that life brings
When you’re mine
I love I love my Valentine, Valentine
I love I love my Valentine…
​
7. Hairtrigger
I have no fear of telling you
Just what I feel you put me through
Befall a wall of concrete make
Made me your last mistake
Song to say good bye
Deported from my nuclei
Though I may rely on a hairtrigger
I move on from this ennui
You’re out of line, more paranoid
Than all the friendships you’ve destroyed
To get intimately devoid
Escape pods you’ve deployed
Song to say good bye
You’re smooth-n-cool as a cacti
Though I may rely on a hairtrigger
You know where I stand do-or-die
This is a different position now that I’m on a mission
It requires discipline and grace
Get the pliers apply to my past waste, you’ve been replaced
Trace one step at a time to keep my pace
The eye has closed, don’t look again
You cartoon gun to estrogen
The mixed messages regimen
Thwarted with my pen
Song to say good bye
You’re smooth-n-cool as a cacti
Though I may rely on a hairtrigger
You know where I stand do-or-die
This is a different position now that I’m on a mission
It requires discipline and grace
Get the pliers apply to my past waste, you’ve been replaced
Trace one step at a time to keep my pace
So as I sit here wishin’ and I start the ignition
Feel the tires unmire and roll along
I’m rewired to say so long in song
Song to say good bye
Deported from my nuclei
Though I may rely on a hairtrigger
I move on from this ennui
8. The Ebb & Flow Of Your Mixed Messages
The ebb and flow, the ebb and flow
The ebb and flow you know of her mixed messages
Reflected in what she says
Can you understand a word
Decipher phrases bordering absurd
Don’t be deceived by what you’ve heard
She’s just speaking with her true meaning blurred
The ebb and flow, the ebb and flow
The ebb and flow you know of your mixed messages
Confusion built a fortress
Can’t you hear the whistle blow
Though it’s quitting time straight to work you go
It’s a verbal dos-a’-dos
But your body language speaking pure scarecrow
Where did plain and clear go
It remains a mystery
I don’t know yet
But ‘til I do I won’t be free
The ebb and flow, the ebb and flow
You have to know the ebb and flow of your mixed messages
I’m glad my intuition’s here
Taking each half-meaning from opaque to sheer
Maintain a well-trained inner ear
That softly whispers to me “been that, done there”
The ebb and flow, you ebb and flow
She ebbs and flows and there she goes…
Back and forth, to and fro…
9. I’ll Face Reality At 5 O’Clock
I’ll face reality at five o’clock
Veracity’s survived amidst a total crock
Got all day to escape maybe delay my hark
May not have hit rock bottom but the depths are stark
I want to feel more free and open
Write and sing more melodies than Chopin
My haunting memories try copin’
Well, as far as that goes, I’m still hopin’
I’ll face reality at five o’clock
If I arrive a bit past five it’s no real shock
I’ve got a track record that clearly shows
What I’ll do at 5 for certain no one knows, but
I want to feel more free and open
Write and sing more melodies than Chopin
My haunting memories try copin’
Well, as far as that goes, I’m still hopin’
That I’ll choose to overcome my fear
That I’ll start to listen when I hear
When I say that at five today
I’ll actively handle me with care
I still want all life has to offer
I want to win one in a laugher
I want to fall in love forever
Well as far as they go may be never, ‘til
I face reality square in the eye
Complacency can’t keep me from my truthful try
One step at a time I’ll climb each building block
When I face reality at five o’clock
10. Conflict
I’m in conflict
Both living in the moment and the past
Can’t resolve it
Wonder how long will this present last
And when I saw you standing there
I knew it was over
I’m in conflict
Imagination shuffling the facts
I’m at odds with
Success each time you’re giving me the axe
And when I saw you standing there
I knew it was over
And it’s not over
‘Cuz I’m not over you
Even though we have been through
For more than a year or two
Still you’re my soul mate come true
And all I know how to do
Is play my heartstring solo for you
But not to worry baby because
I’m invention
Creativity everywhere I go
I’m in conflict
Though I know innately deep down we both know
Look at us sitting right there
It’s clear we’re not over
11. Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Hindsight like a telescope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
There was a time when I felt free
‘Cause no one was looking at me
Back then I couldn’t see
That I would saw in two
The soul that became me and you
Too good (too good) to be (to be) forgotten (forgotten)
That we (that we) forgot what we once knew
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Without denial I’d never cope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Stretched the truth far as it could go
‘Til yes snapped back as no
Maybe when I’m all for show
It’s ‘Cause I forgot
The things I used to take to heart
Too good (too good) to be (to be) forgotten (forgotten)
That we (that we) forgot what we once knew
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
Pushing Karma’s Envelope
With every breath a gasp of hope
12. Marisela (Mariposa)
Marisela imagine me
And you are truly meant to be
Float through love mutually
Like a butterfly I’m fluttering
La mariposa flotando
Bajo el viento agradable
Mi Corazon alzar el vuelo
Como una mariposa volante
Flapping her gentle wings
Changing the world for all things
Playing true love on six strings
Marisela marry me
Though we go deeper than matrimony
Still I’m down upon one knee
Humbled by the butterfly set free
13. One Community
Why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
Put down your dukes and pick up the pieces of your life
Put down the nukes and the gun, rope, tongue, missile, bullet, knife
Tell me the truth; there’s harm in beatings ‘round the bush
Don’t turn me to sleuth, ‘cuz I detect bullshit when shove comes to push
Anyone is someone when there’s someone there to need you
But you’re the one who freed you all the while
Why can’t we be one community
Why we always breaking in three
Why can’t we be one community
I am talkin’ ‘bout you and me
Why can’t we be one community
Why can’t we be one community
Why can’t we be one community
Why can’t we be one community
One community
Flintstones Theme
Spiderman Theme
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
​
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
​
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
Meet ‘em now
​
Someday maybe Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out for the night
​
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Spiderman Spiderman
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web any size
Catches thieves just like flies
Look out
There goes that Spider-Man
​
Is he strong listen bud
He's got radioactive blood
Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey there there goes that Spider-Man
​
In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time
​
Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man
As for fame he's ignored
Action is his reward look out
There goes that Spider-Man
(Be My) Co-Dependent Valentine
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​
Be my co-dependent Valentine
I've all ready built a shrine to feeling unfulfilled
I swallow a heart-shaped bitter pill
Will ya be my co-dependent Valentine?
I need you so co-dependently
Without you here
There's no me to speak of anywhere
The fun in dysfunction disappears
With our splendid co-dependent love affair
Hey! I watch it drift away
From a place where I can handle it
Wait! Enable me a little more
Our therapist says to slip my check under her door...
God bless this livin', breathin', lovin' mess
That we created with success
I guess we have to climb
The hopelessly copeless go sublime
I'm your moping co-dependent Valentine
Mistletoe
​
I’m waitin’ for Christmas
To finally steal a kiss
Under the mistletoe
Every night I picture this
Countin’ down ‘til the 25th
Under the mistletoe
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To be alone with you
Under the mistletoe we go
The morning of Christmas
I’m making a B-line
Past the gifts under the tree
The dreams I’ve had that this could be mine
Your sweet touch is all I nee-ee-ee-ee-eed
I’m waitin’ for Christmas
To get a taste of your lips
Under the mistletoe
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To be alone with you
Under the mistletoe
Where the kisses flow
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To get that kiss from you
Under the mistletoe we go
​
Sled
1. Mistletoe
I’m waitin’ for Christmas
To finally steal a kiss
Under the mistletoe
Every night I picture this
Countin’ down ‘til the 25th
Under the mistletoe
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To be alone with you
Under the mistletoe we go
The morning of Christmas
I’m making a B-line
Past the gifts under the tree
The dreams I’ve had that this could be mine
Your sweet touch is all I nee-ee-ee-ee-eed
I’m waitin’ for Christmas
To get a taste of your lips
Under the mistletoe
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To be alone with you
Under the mistletoe
Where the kisses flow
Under the mistletoe
Where I wanna go
To get that kiss from you
Under the mistletoe we go
2. A Very Merry Federal Secular Holiday
It’s a very merry federal secular holiday
That’s why public buildings close across the land
The separation of church and state leads us to say
We are Santa Claus’s biggest fans
Put up your decorations
There’s no denomination
And no discrimination
Celebrate
Give all your presents out
That’s what its all about
And why I’m so devout to make it a great
Very merry federal secular holiday
(Very merry oooh)
Scrooge and Jimmy Stewart make their point again
(Federal secular oooh)
The mistletoe will help promote a sense of play
The food is never better
Dude it’s Zen
We don’t want to offend our Muslim, Jewish, and Hindu friends
So all our rules will bend to include them too
Were in a culture war but what (what) are we fighting for?
‘Cuz can you be so sure we can’t merge our views?
(Very merry very merry oooh)
(Federal secular oooh)
(Federal secular Federal secular)
If you’re Agnostic what will you do?
‘Cuz there’s no God-given holiday for you
The only way to make it through
A very merry federal secular holiday
(Very merry oooh)
A day to share for everyday Americans
(Federal secular oooh)
There’s enough to go around that’s why I say
Were all Santa Claus’s biggest fans
So have a very merry federal secular holiday
3. Santa Forever
Santa Forever ever and ever
He’ll live on and on
He’ll never be gone
Santa’s alive in everyone
There’s a time and place each year
When Santa spreads his special cheer
In just one night he makes it clear that
Santa Claus is always here
Santa Forever ever and ever
He’ll never be gone
He’ll live on and on
Bags full of timeless love
As he flies through wintery skies above
That’s some “Ho-Ho-Hope” you hear
Flown first class by eight reindeer
​
​
​
Santa Forever ever and ever
He’ll live on and on
He’ll never be gone
Santa’s alive in everyone
Ol’ St. Nick sits on his own
Alone all year at the North Pole
Cake and tea with Mrs. Claus
They’re so eternal now because
He’s Santa Claus
Santa's Forever
Santa Forever ever and ever
He’ll live on and on
He’ll never be gone
Santa Forever ever and ever
He’ll live on and on
He’ll never be gone
Santa’s alive in everyone
​
​
4. December Holidays Be Happy
May All Your December Holidays Be Happy
No matter what you celebrate
Always to remember peace on earth
And miracles so great
Decorate every face with a smile
Man, woman, and child
The season for giving a little bit more
Make every life worthwhile
Let yourself go have a good cheer
Everyone knows it’s that time of year
So I propose everyone here
Join together now
May All Your December Holidays Be Happy
No matter what you celebrate
Always to remember peace on earth
And miracles so great
Miracles so great
5. Lovin’ Santa’s Daughter
Tall order lovin’ Santa’s daughter
She grew up with a famous Dad
From the Heights above the North Pole border
With the best of everything to be had
But she has me under her mistletoe
My wonder of light by candle glow
Best of all she’s my year long holiday
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” turns into “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
So picky little St. Nikki
Chose the gift of lovin’ me
She’s the nicest kind of naughty
Under Chrissy Kringle’s family tree
‘Cuz she’s the one for me under her mistletoe
My wonder of light by candle glow
Best of all she’s my year long holiday
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” turns into “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
I’ll sneak right up my chimney (chimney)
Daughter Christmas waits up on the roof
Her spirit wells up in me
Under nine pairs of flying hoof
Count ‘em
“Ho! Ho! Ho!”, I mean “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
I ought to marry Santa’s daughter
She’s sexy and excitin’ ‘cause
She sleighs me over land and water
I’ll become her Mr. Claus
‘Cuz she’s the one for me under her mistletoe
My wonder of light by candle glow
Best of all she’s my year long holiday
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” turns into “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
6. Winter Magic
Winter Magic
Glitter on the treetops glistenin’
In the distance
Santa’s sleigh bells I am listenin’
Wow I’m sure he’s on his way right now
Winter Magic
Can you hear them play “White Christmas”?
Powder blankets
I am prone to reminisce
Seasons come and go and before long
They've come and gone again
What makes it magic is a little song
And I sing it when
I need some enchantment
Winter Magic
Frosty’s hat has landed on my head
I’m a snowman
Wishing he was warm with you instead
Melting in my snow bed
Seasons come and go and before long
They've come and gone again
What makes it magic is a little song
And I sing it when
I need some enchantment
7. White Christmas
May your days be merry and bri-i-i-i-ight
And may all your Christmases be white
I'm dreamin’ of a White Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
Uh-oh-oh
I'm dreamin’ of a White Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bri-i-i-i-ight
And may all your Christmases be white
May your days be merry and bri-i-i-i-ight
And may all your Christmases be white
One Minute Autobiography
The Punctuation People
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1. The Punctuation People Theme Song
The Punctuation People
Will give you the facts
About punctuation
And how each acts
They make words easier
For you to read
A special lesson
We’ll keep it brief
Ma & Pa Rentheses
And Spot that’s our puppy
Comma Kass takes a breath
To answer Question Markowitz
Then Don Period says we’re done
We hear three cheers from Ms. Exclamation
Punctuation People
Will give you the facts
In a fun act
The Punctuation People
2. Ms. Exclamation Theme
What a glorious day for football and exclamations alike!
Here are the keys to understanding today’s game:
An exclamation point is a punctuation that comes at the
end of a sentence to show excitement! We now take you
down to the field live where Spot is waiting with an example.
I’m excited to see my team play!
Exclamation!
That’s right! I can see that you’re excited because you used
an exclamation point, and I’m excited to hear Ms. Exclamation
sing! Take it away!
Hip hooray I’m Ms. Exclamation
A sign of loud communication
I come at the end of your shout as an exclamation
Totally!
A period that blew its top
Excitement starts and doesn’t stop
You well may hear us yell
Run!
Score!
I can show surprise
Wow!
And emotions like shouts or cries
Yay!
I can command or even demand
Now!
And from far away you can hear my voice
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Ms. Exclamation!
Hip hooray I’m Ms. Exclamation
The only upbeat punctuation
I end your shout out as an exclamation
Hooray!
That’s all she wrote folks—using the correct punctuation marks of course!
3. Ma & Pa Rentheses Theme
Hello boys and girls out there. I’m Ma--
--and I’m Pa--
--Rentheses.
We’re going to tell you about our favorite punctuation: parentheses.
Spot, can you say—“pa-renth-e-ses”?
Pa-renth-e-ses. Parentheses.
That’s a smart dog.
Good job, Spot.
You put parentheses around extra information.
That’s right.
For instance, you could say--
You could say, “Our silly dog buried the bone (in our living room!).”
Oh, ho-ho. Oh, goodness. Or, “See Spot (our dog) sleep.”
I am kinda tired. snoring
That’s very funny (you little puppy comedian).
Well, Spot. I’ve got a great way to keep you awake, so turn that radio up and listen!
We’re Ma & Pa Rentheses
To add a thought, remember this
Parentheses group extra thoughts in sentences
Yes they do.
We’re a way to say by the way
Consider this a side remark
And that’s the role parentheses play
Hey! We are bent ‘round added statements
Not part of the main sentence
We are there to show a side comment
We can also tell you years that someone was alive
Like who?
Well President Lincoln lived from 1809 to1865
Sometimes we’ll see
We’ll be used around a one-two-three
On a list of anything from A to Z
Now bring it home!
We’re parentheses and we punctuate
When there’s something more to state
We give extra information
To help you understand the situation
We look like an egg that’s been split in two
And we love you
Ha, ha, ha!
Oh, Ma.
That was fun.
4. Question Markowitz in Riddler On The Roof
Who? What? Where? When? Why?
Are you wondering why I, Question Markowitz—
The Riddler On The Roof, so called, am up here on my roof pondering riddles?
Then why don’t you just ask me??
Why does a question mark come at the end of a sentence?
Well, Spot, for instance, what if I ask you—
“Did my pants just fall down?”
Can you see that a question mark comes at the end of this sentence, because I asked you something?
Oh, I get it! When you want an answer, use a question mark at the end of your sentence, like when I say “Will you please sing me a song?”
Why not?
Will you sing this song with me?
Didle, deedle, die
And won’t you answer my query
Who, what, where, when, why?
When ending a direct question
Why does my voice get higher?
Does the sound affect my speech
When I must inquire?
May I ask for direction
To help complete a task?
And did I fail to mention
All I need to do is ask?
Have you seen Question Markowitz
The Riddler On The Roof?
Up there every day he sits
But is he weather proof??
Oy.
Am I just a question mark at the end of your line?
You’re there for asking questions, such as:
Who? What? Where? When? Why?
Who? What? Where? When? Why?
5. The Comma & The Stoppers
Cheerio kids! Welcome back to your groovy, beautiful live musical program, “Ready, Set, Learn!”, where I might say the kids learn from their favorite music stars. But first, back with our guest, a puppy doggy named Spot, who has a question:
Why do commas show up in the middle of a sentence?
The comma gives you a chance to pause, or take a breath. For example: “Spot wants to sing, dance, and play the guitar.”
Oh, I get it. After the words “sing” and “dance”, a comma is used to tell us to “take a breath”.
Right-o! Spot on, Spot! And now, here to dance, sing, and teach
you about what they do in a sentence, won’t you please help me welcome the
talented, musical singing group, The Commas & The Stoppers,
featuring Comma Kass. Now here they are, The Commas & The Stoppers!
We’re the commas (They’re the commas)
They’re the Stoppers (We’re the Stoppers)
I’m a comma, baby, so I always come
In the middle of your words to help your sentence run
We’re the word stoppers—
Period
Or, exclamation
Or, a question mark
At the end to say you’re done
Or I’ll run on and on and on and on
But must not run too far
I’m Comma Kass
I make the sentence last
But I can’t run on forever
Period.
I can separate three or more items on a list
Like I ate pears, grapes, plums and apples
Get the gist?
Or, I indicate a slight pause in what you say
Like man, I wore my best skirt, the blue one today.
We’re the commas (They’re the commas)
They’re the Stoppers (We’re the Stoppers)
We’re The Commas (We’re The Commas)
And The Stoppers!
6. Grand Sentence Station featuring Don Period
Ladies and gentlemen, comma, boys and girls, comma, and punctuation of all ages--
Period.
The Comma Cabana Club proudly presents, comma,
The Chairman of the Blackboard!
There are 3 punctuations you can choose from to bring a sentence to a stop.
They are period, exclamation and question mark.
Statements end with a period, like when Don Period says:
Spot is waiting for the train—Period.
To show excitement, raise your voice and end your sentence with an exclamation, as does Ms. Exclamation:
Here comes the train!
Questions end with a question mark, such as when Question Markowitz asks:
So, why can’t I see the train coming?
Heh heh. Let me put it to you like this, baby:
Shooby dooby doo, there’s a short round dot who
Says when my sentence is through
Period.
That’s right, baby.
But in his family there’s a total of three
That say what the sentence will be
Use a period to end a statement.
You’re done. Period.
When a word train makes a full stop at Grand Sentence Station
There are three choices of punctuation
Don Period’s sent to end the statement
I’m the small round dot at the end a lot. Period.
Use an exclamation point to end a sentence showing excitement!
I’m excited!
When a word train makes a full stop at Grand Sentence Station
There are three choices of punctuation
There’s Ms. Exclamation
Her shout’s heard that’s for sure
I end your sentence and make it louder!
Use a question mark to end a sentence when there’s something to ask.
Who? What? Where? When? Why?
When a word train makes a full stop at Grand Sentence Station
There are three choices of punctuation
Question Markowitz wonders
Where and what is my task?
At the end of a sentence when a question’s asked.
But shooby dooby doo it’s the Dotfather who
Says when my sentence is through
You’re through--Period.
1. One Minute Autobiography Theme
One Minute Autobiography
One minute for you to get to know me
My lifetime condensed for you to see
Who what where when why
Just a vignette for a minute
A slice of my whole history
One Minute Autobiography
2. One Minute Autobiography: Einstein
Hmm hmm hmm, carry the two…
Ah! E equals MC squared!
Oh, hello there. I am Albert Einstein.
Hey Einstein
I'm a scientist
Hey Einstein
Ünt a physicist
Hey Einstein
Yah
You're a genius
Filled my head with knowledge
Ünt used my imagination
E equals MC squared
My most famous equation
Hey Einstein
I'm a scientist
Hey Einstein
Ünt a physicist
Hey Einstein
You're a genius
I made big discoveries about the speed of light
My Theory of Relativity proved that I was right
Let's sing
Hey Einstein
You’re a scientist
Hey Einstein
Ünt a physicist
Hey Einstein
I’m a genius
To find out more about Albert Einstein, visit your local library
3. One Minute Autobiography: Shakespeare
Skully, listen to these new words I’ve composed: “critical”, “excellent” and “countless”.
As in, “Shakespeare recorded countless fine words, works and phrases.”
Skully! You didn’t tell me we have visitors. Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm William Shakespeare
Most famous playwright extraordinaire
Shakespeare
Wrote comedies and dramas with flair
Don’t know if you know it
But I’m also a poet
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day
The name is Shakespeare
I sure could write a good phrase
Shakespeare
Many now are known as clichés
To be or not to be
All’s well that end’s well
It’s all Greek to me
Neither here nor there
I’m Shakespeare
To learn more about I, William Shakespeare, visit your local library.
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4. One Minute Autobiography: Gandhi
I'm Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi
I’m called the Father of my Nation back in India
Because I guided her to freedom with my wits
I instituted peaceful civil disobedience
To take our country back from Great Britain
Gandhi
My first name is Mohandas
Gandhi
They call me Mahatma
Gandhi
Fought tyranny for my people
For everybody
We were treated like second-class citizens
For no other reason than the fact we’re Indian
I formed a movement using noncooperation
So the British Empire would get up and go
They did
Gandhi
My first name is Mohandas
Gandhi
They call me Mahatma
Gandhi
Fought tyranny for my people
For everybody
For you
Visit your local library to learn more about me, Gandhi.
5. One Minute Autobiography: Babe Ruth
And stepping up to the plate, good ol’ number three, right fielder, Babe Ruth.
I’m George Herman Ruth, Jr.
The best in baseball’s Hall of Fame
But you may know my nicknames
The Babe
The Bambino
The Sultan of Swat
Among the greatest sports heroes you’ve got
More often than not my bat would get hot
I pitched for the Boston Red Sox in 1914
‘Til sold to the New York team
Where I won seven Pennants
And four World Series
A Home Run King and right fielder
For the Yankees
I wore number three on my jersey
Larger than life
And bigger than baseball some say
I’m George Herman Ruth, Jr.
Known as The Babe
To learn more about baseball legend, Babe Ruth, step up to your local public library.
Balloon To The Moon
1. The Eyes Have It
The eyes have it, they can see
Lovely visions of you and me
The eyes have it…
But the ears can’t read
The ears have it, they can hear
Helps to listen for why and where
The ears have it…
But the mouth can’t hear its own cheer
The mouth has it, it can smile
And turn to laughter in a little while
The mouth has it…
But the nose can’t chew
Though it can “aah-aah-aah-choo!”
AAH-CHOO!!!
Gazuntheit.
Thank you.
The nose has it, it can smell
Your stinky feet a bit too well
The nose has it…whew!
Though the feet can’t tell they smell
That’s ‘cuz the feet have it, they can run
Taking you to places fun
The feet have it…the hands can’t dance
No they can’t, but you can!
C’mon, let’s dance! Get down! Yowsa!
These ain’t no ordinary boogie shoes!
“…Everybody clap your hands, now…”
The hands have it, they can clutch
Wave, hold, throw and touch
The hands have it…they’re holding you
You have it, because you’re great
You know how to appreciate
That you have it…
Enjoy it now don’t wait!
Your eyes have it, they can see
Your eyes, ears, mouth, nose, hands and feet
Live your life happily together ever after!
2. Playground
Wherever we go, whatever we do
I’d like to spend some time with you
So let’s go to the playground
Whenever we like, we’ve got all day
There is a ground on which we can play
So let’s go to the playground
How high can we get on the swing set
Before we shout: “Hee Haw!”
Next we’re up and down on the see saw
Wherever we go, whatever we do
I’d like to spend some time with you
So let’s go to the playground
Whenever we like, we’ve got all day
There is a ground on which we can play
So let’s go to the playground
Then we’ll have some fun under the sun
And climb the monkey bars
In our rocket ship heading to Mars…
“Take me to your leader”
And before it’s dark we’ll leave the park
Sun sets on Sandbox Beach
Happy times are never out of reach
Wherever we go, whatever we do
I’d like to spend some time with you
So let’s go to the playground
Whenever we like, we’ve got all day
There is a ground on which we can play
Let’s go to the playground
Going to the playground…
3. My Pet Pickle
(featuring Emily Gerstein)
My Pet Pickle, now here’s a surprise
My Pet Pickle came with burger-n-fries
But there’s one thing you may not get
Why I chose that pickle as my pet
Let me tell you in one word it’s love…
I’ll take my pet pickle out for a walk
Oh how I wish my pickle could talk
Think of all the yarn he’d spin
About the jar he once lived in
Every story makes you want to grin
My pet pickle plays with pickle pet toys
Having fun with the nice girls and boys
But there’s one thing you may not get
Why I chose that pickle as my pet
Let me tell you in one word it’s love…
4. Early In The Morning
Early in the morning
I’m awake but I’m still snoring
Early in the day
I forgot what I should say…
It’s the right time
Before the night time
To get this whole thing right
If I could work it out
You may hear me shout
Hopefully it won’t be boring
Booooooorrrriiiiiinnng
5. 3rd Little Pig’s House
Third little pig’s house
We’ll rock-n-roll all night
Third little pig has got
A big bad wolf-like appetite
The first little pig’s house
Was made of hay and
Straw was all he saw
As it blew away
By the wolf’s big bad breath
Poor little first little pig’s house was a mess
The second little pig’s house
Was made of sticks
Held together with toothpicks
One toothpick was all the wolf needed
The second little pig’s house was defeated
Third little pig’s house
We’ll rock-n-roll all night
Third little pig has got
A big bad wolf-like appetite
The third little pig
Just loved to read
To learn in life how to succeed
He built a brick house tall and strong and
Asked the other little pigs to come along
The first and second pig showed up late
Still the time they had was great
To stay up all night and play loud music
The wolf was out of breath; this time he really blew it
(party chatter)
“The big bad wolf” so says the press
The big bad wolf says he must confess
That he’s pretty good as wolves go
I don’t know; it’s your best guess
Though he’s an unwelcomed guest at
Third little pig’s house
We’ll rock-n-roll all night
Third little pig has got
A big bad wolf-like appetite
Third little pig’s house
We’ll laugh, sing dance, pig out!
Third little pig’s house
Thick as brick so we can scream and shout
This is the big bad wolf reporting
(Ugh, I wanted pig)
6. Buck B’Gak Theme
You’d better stand back for your friend Buck B’Bak
“My name is Buck-Buck-Buuuuuck B’Gak,
Licensed, Certified, Registered Chicken”
He’s Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
Buck Buck B’Gak
Some call him a quack
But he’s got your back
He’s Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
You’re out of luck if you think he’s a duck
He’s a chicken and a half
​
“I’m a chicken and a half!”
The farm barnyard is his playground
It’s quiet until he comes along
​
“Whoops!”
“All right, all right…It was an accident.”
“It really wasn’t my fault, fellas.”
He’s Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
You’re out of luck if you think he’s a duck
He’s a chicken and a half
He’s Buck Buck Buck B’Gak
Buck B’Gak
“You want a piece of me…??”
“I want a leg!”
“You sure do know how to hurt a chicken’s feelings!”
7. Big Kid
CHORUS:
I’m a big kid, I can’t get rid
Of that part of my heart
‘Cuz I’m a big kid, and I won’t change
Though all the other grown-ups
Think it’s strange, I say:
Age is just a number
I don’t like to
Go to sleep when I’m told
Good thing that I’m
Thirty-six years old
Age is just a number…
I can eat cake
For breakfast if I choose
My tummy may ache
But what else do I have to lose
CHORUS
I like to laugh out loud
And make you laugh too
So sing along with me, and
Make all my dreams come true
CHORUS
You can count on me: 1-2-3-4-5
At any age it’s great to be alive
Some people ask me
“Will I ever grow up?”
I may some day, but
For now I’d rather be a
CHORUS
You can count on me
I’m a big kid
8. Balloon To The Moon
Some balloons drift to the sky with a lot of long hot air
But one will only lift and fly if we've got the right song to share
So I ask that you all try with me, 'cause I built a huge balloon
But it can only fly, you see, if we sing aloud this hot air tune...
Sing our balloon to the moon…
We've taken off upon a trip with plenty of music for fuel
Travelling through the clouds is hip and singing aloud is so cool...
Sing our balloon to the moon…
We're going on a space-a-thon for everyone that wants to come
And before long our uplifting song will raise your voice to sing-a-long
Sing our balloon to the moon…
Going far past twinkling stars; you can keep your moon flowers in my vase
Our voices, my guitar's way, way deep in outer space
Sing our balloon to the moon…
We'll spend our summers on the moon resting by Lake Crater
Then we'll hum our favorite tune; nothing could be greater
Sing our balloon to the moon…
There may be aliens out there different than us
Don't be afraid, there's friends to be made, and that's a big plus
(“...They can sing and fly with us...”)
Balloon to the moon (“...On unleaded tune...”)
Balloon to the moon (“...So everyone croon...”)
Balloon to the moon (“...We'll be there soon...”)
Balloon to the moon...
9.. Monkey’s Uncle
I'll be a monkey's uncle...
I'll be a monkey's uncle to my niece and nephew
And a gorilla or two, who live in a villa in the zoo
I'll be a monkey's uncle...
I'll be a monkey's uncle to my nephew and niece
And a coupla' chimpanzees, swingin' from my family trees
Ee-ee, oo-oo, ah-ah; it's a jungle out there
Ah-ah, oo-oo, ee-ee; I'll get by with my family's care
I'll be a monkey's uncle...
I'll be a monkey's uncle to an ape and baboonion
Our family reunion will be on the next full moon at the lagoonion
I'll be a monkey's uncle...
I'll be a monkey's uncle to put you at ease
Calling all primates if you please
My nephew, my niece and you
10. Jubilee
Hey boys and girls! It’s jubilee time!
Come with me there will be a jubilee
We will sing our favorite song
Fun is easy as 1-2-3
If you please do hum along…
There will be laughter, and
After that some smiles
Then in your memory
A jubilee goes on for miles
Jubileedle-oodle-oo
From start to end
You will be my best friend
Let’s play our favorite game
Our hearts beating happily again and again
When we get to sing our party’s name
Sing with me:
Jubilee, Jubilee, Jubilee
Sunny sky and puffy cloud
Jubilee, Jubilee, Jubilee
Let me hear you sing it loud
Jubilee…
Birds whistle in the breeze
Leaves glowing on the trees
Life flowing on with ease
…Jubilee!
11. That Craaaaazy Freckle
What’s that little speck
Travelin’ ‘cross my leg
It’s That Craaaaazy Freckle
Don’t want to speculate
But he’s up to somethin’ great
He’s not lazy, he’s successful…
‘Cuz he’s That Craaaaaazy Freckle
Yeah, I’m the Freckle; just don’t confuse me with that weird mole.
12. Riding Away
I’m gonna jump on my horse, I’m gonna ride far away
Take you with me of course—hey darlin’, what do you say?
Up in the saddle we’re safe, out on the trail we ride
Me on my steed, you on your pony, travellin’ side-by-side
I close my eyes and I dream
About the places we’ll go
There’s no such thing as a clock
There’s neither fast nor slow
The only important thing’s
That we’re together and riding away
We dig the view from the cliff, the secrecy of the gorse
It gives us both quite a lift, alone on our pony and horse
Out to the sunset we ride, Hollywood endings abound
You can bet that we have tried the other escapes around
I close my eyes and I dream
About the places we’ll go
There’s no such thing as a clock
There’s neither fast nor slow
The only important thing’s
That we’re together and riding away
Getting away from it all
Out on a gallop and trot
I say “Giddyup y’all” and
“Give it all you got”
© Dave Jay Gerstein